When you are going through the dark nights of your soul

and no one else can understands you

the deepest pain of feeling alone

the overwhelming sorrows that pierces your heart

and aches till it bleeds..

the uncontrollable tears that flow like a river

the series of memories that runs

like snap shots in your photographic mind

the heaviness of your next breathe after a long sigh

the angry outburst that screams like a roaring Lion

the absence of your face right beside my bed

the sweet voice that calls me “hummingbird”

the arms that held me tight

the comfort knowing that I’m safe

the sweet delight of your cooking

the 2 dozen red roses just because

everywhere I look is an empty space

an empty heart, an empty mind

if these are the price for your chaos

I would gladly take your chaos

and take it as my peace!

for these heartaches will not give me peace

but chaos…so your chaos is my peace!

loving you unconditionally:)

HUMMINGBIRD!

The labels that Doctors or others put on you affects your life and the painful process of releasing these names and labels in your being. It’s negative imprints in your soul is quite damaging to your wholesomeness. The compulsive labels and judgements of the mind. You need to release these negative energy and connect to your higher self, without attachments to others impression on who you are and what you do. These are archetypal energies that you have sacred contracts with and needed to learn the lessons from these manifestations and then be able to move on to a more wholesome lifetime.

I learn the lesson that it is only about energy, what I experience in the dark side it’s just is, no attachment to their existence. We are living in this duality but when you are one with all, you don’t put your attention to these dark energy. It doesn’t overwhelm you anymore because you are one with these energies of dark and light. They would not stay with you when you release them back to the source of light. This is the balance of the matrix, we are in this matrix of dark and light, paradox, polarity but once we know that we are a part of this river of consciousness, we become the consciousness itself. There is no duality anymore, no separation but union and you are the flow of this energy where dark and light travels. The light and dark shadows of these archetypal energies or blueprints that we carry in our dimensions and bodies that we occupy.  

This is what’s being revealed to me right now, that I have to speak for what is truly is happening and that I can’t keep quiet anymore. There is no more time left, the spiritual warfare has been going on for eons of time. My role in this field is to make you realize that the enemy operates in the web like a spider he had put a spell in our collective mind or consciousness. These dark energy or other beings that are appearing, torturing, instilling fear and keeping you in the dark have always been here. It is difficult to grasp this concept, when you are in the spell because you are in this web. Our freedom of will and choices will make the difference in this path of love and light. The truth is easy to know, quite simple, ask yourself is this information or knowledge is fear based or do you feel love and happy. Like little children we have to be in touch in our pure hearts and innocence to be with the light. There is only one message that we need to keep in our hearts, that there is no battle, but the battle itself is in the mind and that mind is in the field. We are eternal souls, we are loved. 

We are living in this new energy of consciousness and we keep our intention to bring this oneness into our field of love and light. The way to keep vibrating in this high frequency is to keep loving ourselves, align our bodies to our highest potentials. The challenge is balancing the mind, body, heart and spirit, then how can we protect our selves? By invoking our Ascended Masters, angels and loved ones to our field and releasing those attached spirits back to the source. We need to open our hearts to the truth. When we feel in alignment with our soul we are operating in the highest possible life we are designed for. We add to the negative collective consciousness when we listen to the agenda of fear, listen with your hearts not with your minds. The information that you are receiving had been operating since Genesis, there is nothing that we can do but to be happy in our daily moments and live in love not in fear.

The many eyes that are looking are not awake but asleep to the truth, they can see but they can not hear. For the words fell on deaf ears, you whoever holds the lamp stands have to hold the light and let is shine for the world is now arisen to the occasion. The calling of the many chosen ones are going to be receive in the garden of paradise. This is the time to rise, the Phoenix has arrived from the rising sun. We are one and in this oneness we will be united in light and total surrender to the highest of Kings and thrones of dominions will be shuttered, true selves of enemies will be revealed.

The voices of angels will be singing, trumpets blowing, hark the herald King! this is the time to rejoice and continue praying for our souls that we may see the unseen and be born again in this times of awakening. The power of love may always be yours for the kingdom is already won! We are sons and daughters of the Divine source, wake up from the long slumber of dreams. The dreams are here to stay, to help us in our realities, to be just like the little children we will enter the paradise of love.

Our “dis ease” are just signs and symptoms of our unconscious state. We are not at ease with who we are because who we truly are is not of this world but our higher selves. Our voices in the head are always there because these are created in the mind consciousness, the lesson is to accept and focus on the intention of love and light. You will feel the alignment of your body, mind and spirit to your soul when you stay in stillness. Allowing the flow of your mind thoughts and say “hello” be friendly and know that you are one with the source of light. Then you will feel light and shifted to a higher vibratory experience where there is no attachments to all that is. It is just is, voices in the head and thoughts that doesn’t need attention. You feel your body and envision light that comes forth to you crown chakra into your chakra system anchoring you to the energy of the Mother Earth.

Schizophrenia or mystic angel, are just schema or persona of archetypal energy that you had contracts with and was formed in the subconscious mind even before we are born here. We had contracts with these archetypes that they will manifest in our realities and once the lessons have been learned we move on to the next level of archetypal energy. The split world of a schizophrenic is in our gene pool as we inherit our ancestral lines of genealogy. But this is just a root of this illness, the healing is into our consciousness when we become consciouss of our state of separation and release this in our energetic field we become morphed to the matrix energy of all matter and spirit. Then we become one with our true selves balance in matter and spirit. The lesson or light side of this energy is integration and wholesomeness of this being that have these dis ease. The dark or shadow side is of course remaining split or not in congruent to both sides of light and dark energies.

The archetype energy of a mystic angel is quite interesting because you are always coming from a “saving” point of view which is to save the world. But truly there is no one else to save but yourself. The paradox of course lies in the integration of this energy to your higher selves. The angelic energy is t0 bring light to others without attachments to the outcome. We are here because we choose to come and bear witness to our souls. Our unfolding paths to the mystery of our lives will become integrated to the source of love and light. There is no more reasons to look and search for high and above low and below but everything is here given to us to delight in the majestic presence of our beloved light beings. Enveloping us with what is  indeed, one unison with the harmony of the angels and the  Archangels singing in one universal song of love, we are one!

BELOVED!

This angel story is dedicated to Mama Jean who I took care for a year in one of the homes that I worked at. Mama Jean is special because every time I see her she always have that sweet smile and calls me “BUBBLES.” When I was with her I felt so home, she reminded me of my Mom who also suffered Kidney problems. Both of them have this special strength within that doesn’t give up, full of life, down to earth personality and love to express their affection to those that means to them. There was a time last Christmas she loved to knit dish cloths and I don’t really know what she does with them but I actually bought 5 and that made her happy. Little things like this makes me feel good and loved. They are able to connect to their loses in life, that they are loved and feel some self worth, that they still matter.

She loves to shop when she’s not going for her Dialysis days which are Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. Our Kitchen staff prepares her food for lunch and she leaves the building around 1100. When I check her in the morning I sometimes catch her cooking bacon and tell her about her diet and she will just laugh at me and says ” forget it I love my food!” Lately I was even borrowing food from the kitchen for her breakfast because I want her to be okay before she left the building. I sent her to the hospital and she stayed there for awhile. When she came back I knew that her days were numbered. She was on Oxygen and having difficulty walking and breathing most of the times. After all these weaknesses she still held her head up high and pretended that there’s nothing wrong with her. Even to the last minute she refused to go to the Emergency because of her stubbornness and strong will. It always amazed me how strong she was in the midst of her sufferings with Kidney Dialysis procedure. She never give up hope and always have that special smile for everyone.

Before she died, I got a phone call from her son-in-law that she wanted to talk to me and we talked for the last time and for three nights before her death I was woken up on nights and knew that she was calling me. On the day of her funeral I decided to go and was surprised when her daughter asked me to give a eulogy for Mama Jean. I was surrounded by strangers and managed to honor her presence and felt her love for me in this special occasion for her. I had a special connection with her and family, bringing us together even though she is physically not here anymore.

Don’t know much about her history but the times that I spent with her are truly memorable. She have a special place in my heart because we enjoyed our laughter and I was there when she was suffering. This job is truly a work of love, I’m blessed to be with them because through these elders I became wise and know what truly is important in this lifetime. I see and feel their heartaches, broken relationships with other family members, joy and pain, resentments and regrets in life, their sweetness and gentleness towards me, compassion, fear of death, lonesomeness, weaknesses and strengths and many more other things that are not seen to the naked eye…truly “the most beautiful things in life can not be seen or even touched, but must be felt within the heart.” by Helen Keller.

We learn in many ways but truly the lesson here is to live in the moment. Whatever journey you decide to embark upon do it with LOVE. Our ticket to our return to home is here right now at this moment …it is when we stop being crazy pretending that life is about doing and why not give up all those thoughts on being right but be happy. Our times here are special, spend them with your loved ones and share the gifts that you have to others. The connections that you will be making is meant to happen and treasure the people that crossed your path. We are all immortal beings and co-creator to the company of heaven. Angel beings as we are, we are here to bring light and love to each other. We forget where we came from but we are now experiencing this merging to our God self. All aspects of ourselves are being integrated and activated to the highest possible energetic alignment of our soul contracts.

There are now many channels that are emerging and finding their ways to the open to reveal their secrets of light and love. No more hiding and fear, allowing and showing this gift of light and love bringing about God’s consciousness. There are many paths but all is one. We are all Masters in our own field, bringing everyone into their fullest expression of their light selves.

My nursing experiences are my connections to this light activation. I bring love and light into this path and awakens others in their Divine plan even though they are still blind to these revelations, they will find their own process. As I went through this process my self I understand where others are in this field. I surrender to this light work and begin the works with passion in my heart to reach out to those who are struggling to find their magnificent translucent selves. As you go through the purification and detoxification impurities of your selves, you will find that you are getting lighter inside. You become wise in dwelling with emotional issues that used to be blockages in your growth towards intimacy. You are more intimate with your self than any time in your journey. For this is the times of Mastery of light, you are a transient being incarnated to see this transformation of humanity to beings of light. We are all light and this is what Ascension means. Our body is going through such a change in our DNA cellular level that we are still not aware of until it is brought to our attention and find the changes in our own experiences. The activation of this dormant DNA strand will bring forth your soul’s purpose and will have experiences of rebirth.

Living multi-dimensionally in this lifetime where there is no separation between past lives and future but only the now living simultaneously in a parallel multi-dimensional lives. Sounds difficult to grasp but it will be explain to you through experiences in your dream state and awakened times when you find yourself travelling in other dimensions and shifting within your inner self. You feel all the aspects of your fragmented selves to be integrated and makes more sense when you activate and align these vortexes or portal of energies within your own system. Opening and releasing all that are not helping your ascension and becoming light. Light within you will shine and bring the love that you are here for. Simple life, with nature, connected with Earth, stars, planets of the Universe that you are in right now. You will know the intentions of your heart and manifest these in your waking moments. Be love and let light shine upon you! BELOVED!

One of my unforgettable memories with one of my patients and experiences with the dying is the one with this particular person. I used to work as a night nurse and there is this patient with a case of late stage of Cancer and Venous Aneurism along the side of his neck. When you see him at this stage he had this huge ball like a small grapefruit size around his neck area. When I enter his room he has this special light within him that makes me feel home and safe. I feel his unconditional love and he used to greet me ” Oh my angel is here!”

I remember vividly that I took care of him for 19 days, it started on Jan of 2001, I used to come to his room before midnight to see that he’s safe and every hour clockwise. Around 0500 I sat beside him and turn his television on and I usually put the Catholic mass and just simply hold his hands. On one of this occasions, he told me that he used to be a Catholic and we used to joked with each other and I told him, “how come in your chart there is no mention of your Religion?” Then he replied that he used to practice this religion and he became alcoholic and he never went back. But now that he’s sick he wants to see a priest. I used to practiced Catholicism and when I heard this after my shift work I went straight to my priest and mention this to him and gladly brought him to work that morning.

After this revelation we became more closer and I understood where his pain is coming from. As a child who experienced living with a father who was Alcoholic I felt the guilt and pain that he was suffering from. I was able to put myself and see where he was coming from and heal the part of me that was in pain regarding the feelings of being abandoned by a father. The things that fascinates me with these experiences is that when I play the role of a helper, nurse or healer literally I receive the gifts of healing at the same time the healing happens to the patient. Truly I say that when I give, I receive in the process. There is no difference in this actual gift, I become the receiver when I give.

On Jan 19, 2009 I knew that he was going to passed away @ the hour of his death @ 0300 I was with him. I told him not to be afraid and just follow the light and his loved ones are waiting for him. He opened his eyes and smiled at me, I felt his love. Usually when the person is about to die I have this knowing that this is the time, there is something in me that knows, I can’t put a finger to it but the signs are all there. When I look at their eyes there is a sense of dying, there is no more spark of light and their body emits this certain scent of death like rotting, of course as a nurse the biological signs are there but to be in tune with the right moment of death for me is a gift. Usually I’m there when it happens and the room is full of their presence and you feel this awesome love and indescribable feeling of spirit. My life transforms every time I am given the gift of being with another person’s passing away. I usually go home with a reflection of my own journey and transform my realities in living in the moments of my life with joy and love, they are my angels!

When I look back from this experience he brought to me the realization that we are here to learn the lessons that our souls have contracts with. His coming to my life was a part of my healing process. During that time I was healing from my Divorce, my relationships with my father and mother, developing the courage to let go of any toxic relationships, and many others that comes with letting go of the emotional blockage that impedes my work as a healer.

The people that are on our paths are the gifts in our journeys, and you will be surprise to know that those who literally push your buttons are actually the ones that will bring your healing. Your trouble makers are your gifts, because there is no difference between us when you become unified in spirit, what you see is a part or fragment of your self. So when your perceptions operate in this method of looking at life then your enemies become your friends because suddenly you begin to see them in the eyes on an angel where there is only light and no more shadows. We become the bearers of light and love, this is the message that I’m trying to teach to others. Pure compassionate wisdom, this is the only way that we can help our own ascension.

In these Angelic times our thoughts travel and within seconds of thinking you will find the person you are thinking about come in your presence and beget the message that you are about to receive when you are open and ready to become light and activated within your DNA system. I hear this theory all the time with the New Age teachers and this is simply reminding us that we are all angel beings when we choose to be. There is a process to this activation and it starts when you let go of the attachments and soon you will find that your self had transcend in a different light. Your eyes become open to signs and messages to your divine living. You carry the light and people will see that you are living light and every where you go you bring this sweet aroma of an angel being.

As I write this message of love and hope to those who are called to read this, I’m just excited to tell you that the white snow just started to fall right by my widow pane and it’s just so awesome to feel this and be blessed with their presence in this blessed times of our lives here on earth.

Let us remind ourselves that we are light, we will go through a process and your angels are always there for you and will guide and give the right interventions that you need right at the moment. You will never be alone and will always live this ETERNAL LIFE. There is no more pain, release and live the life of an angel, who sees unity, harmony, unconditional love, light, peace, joy to your heart and open your eyes to their subtle messages, the laughter and presence of children, the special quiet moments that passed between conversations, they are here. Listen with your ears and hearts open to receive. Love and love until it hurts. Then there is no more hurt but only love! BELOVED!

Angels come to me in dreams and they are quite vivid visions of different types and shapes. Usually when they come, they serve as revelations of things that are coming or warnings to be aware of. They are beautiful and give you a sense of peace and joy. In this particular dream they were huge like giant babies flying above me. In the dream my daughter was with me, we were walking along this green meadow and I looked up at the sky and there they were huge angels hovering above us and I pointed to her and as soon as I did the angels suddenly dove into us and felt their warmth and loving presence. It penetrate my body and I felt so joyful and delightful. I woke up with a smile in my face and joy in my heart.

The next morning I had a Dr’s appointment for general check up and before I went to her office I decided to shop and while I was in the store, I felt a nudge to turn around and saw beautiful angels made of ceramics. Because of my vivid dream I wanted to remember this day and bought 7 angels. As I visited the Dr, I’ve decided to give away 2 angels one for the receptionist and one for the Dr.

The doctor was examining me and suddenly felt a lump on my left breast. I can tell that she was alarmed and told me to have an emergency Mammogram in the laboratory right away. I went home that night and wasn’t really anxious about it because I felt safe and realized that the angels came to me to tell me that I’m going to be all right. Right away, I had a test and as the days were passing by waiting for the result, I felt unease about the whole thing and found myself crying in front of the mirror. It brought a past memory of my incest experience with my father when I was 15 yr old.

I consoled my breast and told her that I’m sorry for every pain that she had felt all through the years. I never really spend the time to talk to my breast. Talking to my breast made me feel better and felt deep healing about this experience. I recommend for anyone to do this healing of their body part. When you communicate to your body part, it touches you in a more deeper connection that makes you feel good. Co-incidentally my sister-in-law during this time was actually going through chemo therapy for her breast cancer.

At the office after a few days, my daughter and I was patiently waiting for the result of the test and soon enough our anticipation is over and there was nothing found in the test. What a big sigh of relief to hear this! You find that life is so fragile, suddenly I found my self facing my own immortality. When I was getting out of the office I felt my sister-in-law’s agony and pain that she’s going through. I was lucky enough not to undergo such treatment and pain.

This connection with the angels have been very significant part of my journey. They come to me before an incident and reveal to me that they are always there for me. They give me hope and faith that I’m taken care of and for some reason whatever is the result of any trials that I undertake, I feel that I’m ready to face anything that life throws on me. I’m in this space of total surrender to what is. Life for me is eternal and if my death comes knocking on my door I will bravely face it with peace because I believe and know that this is the time that I’m coming back home. Returning to the one, the Source of life, the breath and fire of my existence, the forever Divine Kiss that I’m longing to come back to will be there for me in that brightest of  light waiting by the gateway and door of Heaven.

My soul longs to come home, I’ve been there and knows deep within my heart that I’m going back to that space of light where there is no shadow. My spirit flies with this feeling of blissful joy every time I dream of angels. They remind me of my flight and that my days here on earth are numbered. I take my journey with them and this time I reveal to others what I’ve been experiencing with these beautiful guides of love and light. With their presence there is no fear, no doubt, no pain but they bring to you great delight, lightness, truth, peace, blissful feeling of belonging to this Divine connection where your home is.

My determination to serve them is by writing about their presence in my life. This is the only way I know that I can touch others and make them feel that they are going to be okay in the midst of trials and death. Whatever the situation seems to be, they are always here ready to help and lift you up. They hear all your cries and woes, they are with you in times of darkness and great trials in life. They come and rescue you when you call on them.

If it happens that you are not a believer and you are reading this notes, wouldn’t you question yourself “how in the world I ended up reading this?” it will make you open your heart and eyes to the unseen truth and may be even a little bit of light will penetrate and enter your mind to create a space of connection to the angels, they are the messengers of love and light. Without a doubt you are meant to read this material and you are blessed and just as of now you are touched by an angel and forever will remember this time of your life. You have the freedom of choice, they never ask you to believe but your heart will tell what to believe. The truth speaks without your mind, feel it from your heart and it will reveal to you the sweetest truth of all times. There is only love, nothing all but love! BELOVED!