Unmasking these layers of pain in your heart is a process of being true to yourself. When you face your fear of unveiling the truth, unconditional love for yourself comes through. There is no hidden truth only what is felt within your heart. Open the doorway of your heart and listen to what it says. Receive don’t resist, let the flow of light penetrate its shadows of fear. This fear of intimacy is the mask covering the walls around your heart. When it reveals the pain that underlies the core patterns of suffering, it is easier to breathe and allow the deepest healing of your heart. The pain that lingers and calls for attention suddenly comes into a still and holds the space of love, truth and peace. The pain dissipates and understands what love truly means, it doesn’t hurt anymore, when there is no more pain, there is only love.

Life is like a mystery, when you discover the truth life becomes a lighter path to thread on. Your heart become light and it helps others to see their own brightness when you radiate this bright light that comes from the Divine’s heart of wisdom. The secret is love beyond form, dramas and suffering. We are here to experience love and happiness with all that is. Let us begin this path by unveiling what lies beyond our pain, let go of this suffering and surrender to your magnificent self. The soul magnifies everything and allows this expansion to what is. Our hearts are like these vessels of love that longs to pour into our humanity to create the oneness of God’s love and wisdom for us. There is no more pain but peace that is beyond the level of understanding that our mind can hold. This inner peace is the foundation for letting go of our attachment to pain and suffering. When we connect to our stillness we create a different pattern of life that holds a higher vibration of love and light.

Thus, life becomes a reflection of God’s love for us. We are the bearer of light and love. Unleash yourself from this pain that our humanity had gone through the ages. The enlightenment is here and now. Your heart and mind is align to what is and all is well. Forgive others and yourself to pave the way to healing. This lightens the load that you carry consciously or unconsciously in your essence. The path of the heart is through this doorway that opens once true forgiveness is attain. Love is rediscovering the full and highest potential of our existence, giving inspiration and enthusiasm to all sentient beings.

The shadows becomes light, there is understanding of the heart and mind,  how they both align and becomes congruent to each other. This connection is needed to be in full alignment with the soul’s purpose. The pain body is gone and just lives on love, it now attracts love and not fear because there is no more space for pain. The heart lives its desires and highest potential is clear and determine to be the force of life. Love is power,  its highest vibration of God’s love for us. Let us connect to this power and our lives will be in a happy and peaceful state of condition. Letting go of illusions and fear is part of the process. Surrendering to the flow of life where it leads us. Most of the time we get used to the comfort zone and we find it hard to let go because of our attachments to things, places and people that we surround ourselves with. These attachments keep us inside the box and witholds our expansion. Our freedom lies in discovering our truth, which is our spirit.

The pain body that attracts another sentient being who carries the same energetic codes will give you the lessons in life that you are searching for. Once attained your level of understanding will expand and now shift into a higher level of consciousness which is about love and light. The light quotient that you carry will increase and will see clearly why things has to happen that way. What is clearing will hold a vibration that is higher in frequency and that helps you elevate your consciousness. Allowing the flow of grace and ease to your energetic imprints will transform your inner being. The heart has doorways to your expansive self that sees no boundaries to what you want to experience. This doorway has the key to your soul, you hold the key to your happiness and inner peace. The pain is the key in disguise, take the pain and see beyond it, transform by understanding the underlying cause of this pain. Usually when you ask yourself, the answers will be revealed to you. Face the fear and heal with your unconditional love for yourself. Ask yourself, if I truly love myself would I do this? would I be in the pattern of pain and suffering if I love myself? What do I do to let go of this pattern and am I ready to clear this in my life. did i learn the lesson? what is the lesson that life is showing me? These are some questions that can help you clear what is not clear for you.

Tapping into your Akashic Records helps you clear your blockages and able to clear your energetic fields. Consciously working to empower you and to attain your highest potential. When you unveil the pain in your heart, you receive the codes for healing and empowering your life. You tap into the Source and become at peace with yourself and others. The unveiling is the thin veil that hinders our perception to what is. Once this is lifted, we now see the beauty that is within and to all sentient beings. There is no separation but oneness, feeling at one in nature and all that is. Our pain is our compass towards total freedom of the spirit. Let us see this pain with a different outlook and use this as our tool to discover our true purpose and our hearts desires will show us our way.

Inner peace is attained when one has stillness in the mind and happiness in the heart. The space that permeates all individual cells of their existence and feel that they are one in the collective consciousness of humanity. There is only space of love and no fear or separation with others or other species. The essence of all that is. One can only attain inner peace when the individual recognizes the insanity or madness of the mind and becomes an observant of this incessant thoughts of the ego. The person watches the drama that one projects, when attached to the little self in the head that continually speaks to make its existence known because of fear of annihilation. The recognition of this illusion is the awakening that happens within ones own psyche and self realized that there is only this moment of now and aliveness within the body that is present right now. The thoughts that are in the past or future is not here and are part of the dysfunctions of the human conditioning.

The searching or seeking of enlightenment comes into stillness and one knows that there is nothing to search anymore but to enjoy their lifetime and start being whoever and wherever they are. Life becomes more colorful and vibrant, alive in their relationships with others and one in nature. There is this field of unity or unified consciousness within itself and others. It sees beyond drama and form, beyond what life presents, takes challenges with flow of ease and grace. The flow of life becomes more fluid and light. The peace beyond the level of understanding, surpasses words, thoughts and become what is. The silence within and infinite immortality which is eternal presence of the spirit and soul. In attaining inner peace one becomes a rippling effect in the collective consciousness of humanity towards universal peace.

Co-dependency is an excuse to be your authentic self. There are lots of reasons or excuses why someone would stay in a relationship such as this because they like to be in their comfort zone. Leaving a place where they don’t need to exert an effort to be their highest potential is an easy way out of facing life than becoming who they are. They have fear of failure and so they stay in a cozy place where they don’t need to face life’s challenges by themselves alone. They blame or point the finger to the other person rather than taking full responsibility for their own independence and responsibility.

They have issues such as abandonement and when they stay in a relationship like this co-dependency they get trapped in the illusion that they are being abandoned or they are abandoning the person they are with when needed to move on. There is an attachment to the person that they can’t let go. What does the person needs to learn when face in such dilemna? First, you have to acknowledge that you have a problem. Facing the problem is the first step in helping yourself out of the trap. When you don’t acknowledge then you can’t resolve anything. The mind that created the problem would not be able to solve the problem, you need to shift or transform in order to solve the problem. How do you shift? By letting go and going with the flow of the situation. Remember that anything that you magnetize in your situation is because of you not anyone else. So the problem is there because you become the magnet of the situation. Don’t be hard on yourself. Love unconditionally and start where you are.

“I love myself and take full responsibility for all my thoughts, words and actions. Be it done!”

What is the formula for tapping into the Universal flow of abundance? First, we have to study how the Universal Laws work and function. The Universe is like a suspended animation, full of possibilities. Now, intention collapses this suspension and creates action. If we are going to put the intention of abundance and prosperity, definitely we will see the manifestation of abundance. Where human beings are disconnected is the part that because we are living in the physical world or materialism, somehow we can’t see how spirituality is the same as physical reality.

In this formula, we have to explore where your heart is. If you have fear in your heart’s desires, you will not be able to tap into this treasure house of abundance because you can’t occupy two things at the same time and space. Fear and love can’t occupy the same space. Love is the secret of all abundance and connection to the Universal abundance. We need to put our attention only to love and abundance will grow. It is like faith pray and pray like you already have the answer, this is how Jesus tell his followers to believe. There is no wavering in your own faith and belief in God.

If we put fear inside our hearts then this grows like wild weed, we need to pull it out and fill our hearts with pure intention and unconditional love for our selves and others. We connect to the Divine’s heart of love and wisdom. When we do this our input of love is increase and abundance manifests. We start attracting things that will magnify our realities and the things that we want to create along with our higher selves. We align to our highest potential and soul’s purpose.

Intention plus increase Love is equals to Universal Abundance. Then, our reality will manifest abundance, love and faith. The Universe is ours let us place our hearts into this vast and magnificent suspension of potential possibilities in our thoughts, words and deeds. Release fear and blockages and let go, go with the flow of love within our being and allow this flow to bring in the essence of who you truly are, an infinite creation of love and abundance in this Universal flow of energy. Believe in your abundant and magnificent soul.

What are the treasures hidden in the darkness? these are the sufferings, difficulties and trials that we go through in our lives. While we are going through the motions we don’t know that these will turn out to be gifts until God reveals to us the bigger purpose of these experiences. Things happen for a reason, and I believe God  is always there with us in the midst of our tribulations. When I had abortion surely God was with me weeping and sobbing in the deepest cries of my heart. He had heard my wailing and seen my broken heart. Through this pain I became very aware and compassionate about others pain. I can’t turn my back on someone who’s in pain and always be there to reach out to others. Can you imagine this world of darkness if someone can not see the light? Where would that person be? Will he take his own life out of desperation? Would he be wallowing in pity and self- torture? These questions are some things that a desperate person would be contemplating. I had lots of dark nights of my soul and was longing for God’s answers but didn’t feel His presence. He was too far to reach me and my soul is quenching in thirst for His love. “Where are you in the midst of this despair?” I ask God. You don’t hear God’s words and only when you surrender to Him then, I slowly hear Him again. The treasures are stored in the most precious gift of God inside my little heart. When I’m going through some darkness I just have to remind myself that treasures are hidden in the darkness.”And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness-secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name. ” Isaiah 45:3

This letter was written on May 10, 2004 to my father for our healing and I also talked about this is in my You tube site which is under “Tezamysticangel” which has now attracted 81,400 viewers since I’ve opened it on 2008.

Happy 85′th birthday! I’m writing this letter because I want to put a closure to my healing wounds. In doing so I will be able to let go of all the feelings that I wasn’t able to tell you because of so many reasons. I will help the little girl in me to have a voice and finally be heard. To continue to grow in trust and safety in God’s hands.

Papa, I wanted you to know that I’ve forgiven you for all the things that you’ve done to me in the past. Bur deep inside of me there are so many unspoken pains and unhealed memories of the past that needed to be in the light. In order to dispel the power of darkness. What I mean to say is that I needed to tell you so that it will not come back to haunt me anymore. Like a ghost restless and haunting. I still remembered growing up, you used to call me in your room and seduced me with fruits to go inside and you would tell me that it’s our secret. Then, you would ask me to remove my uniform shirt because it was too hot and I would do that and ate my fruits and watched tv. I can vividly remember how you watched and lusted for me. I didn’t knkow better because you were my father. I thought love is seduction and lust. I would feel important, special and wanted because this is the way you shared love to me. Why did you do this? Are you sick?

For whatever reasons the damage was done and I was broken. I didn’t know that this is the way a father should treat his daughter. The most hurful part of this is when you sucked my breast after the abortion. Do you know how deep is the wound that you have stubbed me in my heart? It felt like a sword had cut right through my heart. I lost my true identiy as a woman. I don’t know how to trust, love and respect my body. I don’t know the concept of boundary because of your trespasses. I don’t know my self worth, it felt like a garbage dirty and not wanted. These are all the ugly feelings that resulted from what you had sowed in my little girl’s heart. I’m not going through counseling and it was revealed to me that I needed to write a letter to heal my deepest wounds.

Papa, I’ve truly forgiven you. This letter will surely hurt but the intention is to share with you my deepest sorrows, in order for me to heal completely. This is from the past and I know God wants me to bury this behind. Out of this experience I became closer to God, telling Him all my heartaches. I would like to end this with a prayer for both of us.

Dearest God,

We thank you for bringing us together in spirit, being able to voice out my feelings and opening my wounds to my father. To bring a closure to the past. We ask you for forgiveness, compassion and mercy. Thank you for renewing our minds, body and souls. Transform us into your image and use us as instruments of your healing power. That with our story we could touch other souls who are going through the same darkness. Thank you for bringing your light into our hearts. The light that heals and comforts our broken hearts. Thank you for being a Father to all of us, and I ask you to bless my father and fill his heart with complete joy, love and peace. We ask you this through Christ our Lord Amen.

Praying for healing and true forgiveness,
Teza

From death to life: a teeanage abortion survivor tells her story

This is my written testimony on May 21, 2001 that I wrote in The B.C. Catholic newspaper and I’m here and inspired to share this to all to promote the sanctity of life.

This is what the Lord says; “A voice is heard in Ramah, mourning and great weeping. Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because her children are no more.”

“Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded, ” declares the Lord. “They will return from the land of the enemy. So there is hope for your future,” declares the Lord. “Your children will return to their own land.”(Jer. 31:15-17)

This is the start of the story of Jasmine, my sweet angel. I knew all along God had a bigger plan for my life, because I believe He will never allow these trials if not for a purpose. In writing this story I ask God to guide me in this calling, it’s a calling because I would not be telling you my life story if not for His glory. God seems to have designed my heart this way. Deeply, I don’t have shame, guilt, fear or desire to be secretive about this situation because in my heart I believe the truth will set you free! Nothing is hidden in His eyes, and I will gladly serve others by my experience if it will bring forth good fruits.

I was living in the Phillippines when it happend; I was just 14 when my parents decided that we would be moving to California. My parents left ahead of me, and I was left under the supervision of my brother. Unfortunately, my brother was quite over protective and insecure. He was physically and verbally abusive towards me. Due to confusion and abandonement, I became a rebel. I had a boyfriend and decided to take revenge on my brother. On my brother’s birthday I dared my boyfriend to make love to me. What a dumb idea but at that time I needed love and validation. I became pregnant.

My parents returned from California. They were worried about the family’s reputation, and my father and brother told me that I had to choose to either marry my boyfriend or abort the baby. I was very depressed, because I wanted to keep the baby but did not want to get married. The next thing I knew my brother and sister took me to a stranger’s house. I can vividly picture the house of that abortionist. There were lots of statues of saints, and in the bedroom where she did the abortions there were fetuses inside the jars, in alignment.

I was very shocked and hurt to see this. I never uttered a word. It was like going to a death sentence. She asked me to lie down and inserted a catheter. I was numb and mentally blank. I felt abused and was dying inside. She told my family that the baby would not be expelled until the next day, so we left. We went to my other brother’s house, because my parents didn’t want me back home. Around 3 o’clock in the morning I was bleeding and in extreme pain. I went to void and felt something. I looked and in the toilet and there was a little mass of blood. Shocked, I screamed at my sister and she flushed the toilet. I was hemorrhaging. My brother wrapped me in a blanket and ran for a taxi, carrying me all the way.

They returned me to that abortionist, and she performed a D and C without anaesthesia. I was in agony but my agony was about losing my baby not about the physical pain. She said I was the only person (on whom she had performed such a procedure) who didn’t scream in pain. She didn’t know that I was dying inside. After a couple of weeks I returned to my parents. But I felt lonely, because nobody talked to me. It was as if everybody was avoiding me. I started isolating myself to the point of not leaving my room for a month. I went into a deep depression. I remember my sister said to me “I missed your laughter, what happend to you?” The vibrant teenager that they knew was gone. In my loneliness I continually blamed God and angry at the world. I wanted to die.

Finally, my family couldn’t handle me anymore, I went to hospital and stayed for a month, being treated with strong anti- depressant medications. I started seeing a Psychiatrist and was put into therapy. I remember I wrote a letter addressed to my family and titled it “Open book,” about my feelings. It was a beautiful book and I wish I had kept it for you to know how a teenager feels when she had been stripped away of her rights. A right to give life!

The story didn’t end there my depression stayed with me till 18 yrs of age. I came to Canada and stayed at my brother’s place for a vacation. I found out that they were unable to have children. They were married for 10 yrs, I really felt bad about it. I said a novena to Our Lady of Perpetual Help for them.

I got pregnant again. This time I did something right. I hid it from my family for six months so they could not kill my child. I dedicated my baby to my brother. Every night, I talked to my child and told him that I’m doing this because of love. I knew I couldn’t provide for him, and he wasn’t going to have a father if I kept him because again I didn’t want to commit. Matt Anthony was born and he was a gift from God. I told God that this is my offering for the abortion that I had when I was 15. Even though it wasn’t my plan to commit that hideous sin, I still felt responsible, because it was my body that was used. The guilt that I was carrying was lifted off my shoulders. When Matt was two months old, I gave him to my brother.

I had an awesome revelation during a retreat I recently went on. I know God wants me to do something about my experience. I was reading Jeremiah in my Bible and thought that Rachel sounded familiar. I remembered seeing Project Rachel on the bulletin board of Our Lady of Mercy church. It is an organization that helps women with post-abortion issues. I talked to my parish priest and ask him “where do aborted babies go father?”He replied, “in the palm of God’s hands!” My heart leaped for joy knowing Jasmine, my sweet angel, is with God waiting and praying for me.